Can’t give it up

My best moment seems the worst. When I want to smile that’s when tears come out of my eyes. When I want to enjoy that’s when I suffer most. I want to be happy with you. I want to laugh with you. I want to look upon your face and smile. I want you to see sparkles in my eyes and smile. I want you to laugh at my silly jokes and hold your sides.

I want your ears alone to hear my woes and cries. I want your eyes alone to see my tears. I want your mouth alone to kiss my lips. I want your hands alone to touch me, touch my boobs. I want to share so much with you but I guess these are all my fantasies at work, for no matter how hard I try you seem not to notice me. You only see me as a friend, a reliable colleague to lean on when you are weary. To share your sorrows with and laugh with when you are happy. Don’t you know I have stories to tell too? I have feelings for you. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why I don’t have a boyfriend? Why I don’t welcome the company of any other but you? Or is it that you don’t care?

You don’t know how much I die inside when we are out and you go on and on about how this girl or that girl is so sexy in her outfit or how well her hair fits her when you’ve never stopped for a second to compliment what I’m wearing. When you walked up to that girl to get her number and ask her out, did you know the hurt I felt deep inside me?

It’s quite funny you find it interesting discussing your little adventures with me when right inside, I’m very grateful those dates were short-lived. Sometimes I wonder how ironic life can get! How come you go outside flirting with anything in skirts, hoping to find true love, when I’m here, ready to give you my all? Sometimes I just want to let go and accept the fact that you will never see me any more differently than a friend but I just can’t give it up.

Even if you are blind to my longings for you and it seems you’ll never get to find out how much I treasure you, I will hold on still to the faith that one day you will appreciate and reciprocate my love for you, then I’ll get to share my woes with you and let you on every one of my secret but until then I still remain your faithful friend, your shoulder to cry on and laps to lean on. Your one and only.